Worth the wait! Fantastic story that kept me reading and waiting to see what would happen next. Enjoyed how you had the double story lines, that you intertwined. Nice how while the team was locked out and in trouble from an invisible threat, the danger to them kept him focused on continually moving toward the control room and being conscious of the time.
I love seeing the soldier and the tactical genius of John Sheppard. He wasn't stronger than Gene, yet could think in terms of stategy, outside the box and emotionally instead of being the strongest, fastest and most well armed. His regard for humanity, his loyalty and concern for his people, the anger and fear motivating him made him the victor. Excellent improvisations as he doubled and tripled back leaving surprises as he went. The amount of research you do is well worth it. The napalm cups were awesome.
The low oxygen sats and effects from the broken ribs were so real. Great idea for Gene to tamper with the environmental controls. Like he needed more of an advantage that way! Your descriptions were so vivid and spot on, I could feel Sheppard's struggles and pain. Again, the research makes a huge difference in the feel (severity) of the situation. I also liked that the injury wasn't the focus of the story; his survival skills, intelligence and tenacity were.
Great voices throughout. I love how each person handled the situation in their own way. Teyla focusing on Radek, Ronon on searching for a way to physically enter and help Sheppard and Rodney trying to hack into the system, babbling and tracking the red dots. Awesome tie in of the RPG game to the super soldier in the story and the loss of interest after the fact. Don't blame them. I adore the allegory here. Great infirmary scene, once again the voices are perfect. Hee, had to laugh at the farming sim as replacement for the violent games.
I'm sure I'm forgetting some points, as this was full of great detail. Wonderful, masterful writing! Thank you!
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Date: 2010-01-08 03:07 am (UTC)I love seeing the soldier and the tactical genius of John Sheppard. He wasn't stronger than Gene, yet could think in terms of stategy, outside the box and emotionally instead of being the strongest, fastest and most well armed. His regard for humanity, his loyalty and concern for his people, the anger and fear motivating him made him the victor. Excellent improvisations as he doubled and tripled back leaving surprises as he went. The amount of research you do is well worth it. The napalm cups were awesome.
The low oxygen sats and effects from the broken ribs were so real. Great idea for Gene to tamper with the environmental controls. Like he needed more of an advantage that way! Your descriptions were so vivid and spot on, I could feel Sheppard's struggles and pain. Again, the research makes a huge difference in the feel (severity) of the situation. I also liked that the injury wasn't the focus of the story; his survival skills, intelligence and tenacity were.
Great voices throughout. I love how each person handled the situation in their own way. Teyla focusing on Radek, Ronon on searching for a way to physically enter and help Sheppard and Rodney trying to hack into the system, babbling and tracking the red dots. Awesome tie in of the RPG game to the super soldier in the story and the loss of interest after the fact. Don't blame them. I adore the allegory here. Great infirmary scene, once again the voices are perfect. Hee, had to laugh at the farming sim as replacement for the violent games.
I'm sure I'm forgetting some points, as this was full of great detail. Wonderful, masterful writing! Thank you!